My Monumental Dunk: Retold by Dahntay Jones (not really)

This dunk is one of my all-time favorite college dunks. Every single time I see someone doing push-ups, I think of it. In honor of Duke Week at U&M, I thought it only fair to have the story retold by the man himself. Unfortunately, I reached out to the real Dahntay Jones and received no response. So, what you read below is entirely fictional.

Look man, I’m not one to pass blame on people, but this whole thing is my crazy Uncle Jimmy’s fault.

Back in college, my family almost always tried to join us when we went out on the road, especially to places that weren’t too far. On this day in particular, we were playing in Virginia. Breakfast with my family was a regularity, and this morning was no different. But my uncle threw in a little jab and I don’t even know if he understood the ramifications until just after this dunk.

We’re almost done. We’ve eaten our toast, eggs, bacon and we’re lounging before I head back to my room to rest for the game. As I’m getting up, my uncle reaches out, grabs my arm and says, “Hey DJ, I didn’t travel all the way to cold ass Virginia to watch jump shots” and just turned back to his original conversation, like the comment never happened.

I didn’t have a great performance. I think I finished with 14 points and six rebounds, but nobody remembers that. What they do remember is what happened toward the end of the game. Virginia was trapping and trying to create havoc, because they were losing. I got the ball off an inbound pass and — to be perfectly honest — the trap they come at me with was trash.

I split it, and the rest is history.

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It was like the parting of the Red Sea. Once I was through their double team, if that’s what we’re calling it, there was literally nobody in my way. As I started to drive, this big dude stepped up and I was thinking to myself, “There’s no way this guy is gonna block me in front of my uncle.” I felt like I hit a trampoline when I took off and I was hanging in the air like Michael Jordan in Space Jam.

That dude was definitely the big, blue, goofy Monstar, by the way.

People always ask me, “Why the push ups, Dahntay?” The reason: Vander Laan needed to get his weight up. I’m 6-6 and he’s 6-10. There’s no way he shoulda let me do that to him, and I knew it was a big moment. The celebration had to be perfect. Besides, I was floating for so long before the dunk that I felt like I could’ve read the Harry Potter series. I had plenty of time to think of the perfect celebration.

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There were other options, sure. I thought about getting up and pointing at him, à la Shawn Kemp. Pumping my fist wildly like the future Tyler Hansbrough probably would’ve done the trick, too. But I’m a pretty stout guy and I was always challenging teammates to push up contests in the locker room. It just made sense.

I’m not a bad guy, alright. I never intended to hurt anyone in this random game at the University of Virginia. But shit happens, and this guy caught a hot one. And if you still don’t believe that this whole event is my uncle’s fault, just look at his reaction. He’s elated!

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If you look really close, you can see him whisper something to my Dad. Something like, “I caused this.”